Why children should be allowed to "fail"

I remember being upset when I was younger and while my parents were very encouraging and always pushed me to go after what I wanted, one of the lines they used quite often was "life's not fair"...and you know what? It's not. This very simple fact is something I find a lot of younger people (and i'm talking 10-22 yr olds, not necessarily very young children) have a hard time grasping. As adults, we know we won't always get our way. We may give it our all and it doesn't mean we will win. It's just the way it is. Does that mean we should give up? Absolutely not! I think teaching children HOW to go after what they want and cope when something doesn't go their way will go a lot farther than fighting their battle for them. It's kind of like the quote "give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime"

Children HAVE to learn how to cope with the reality that they aren't always going to get their way or they are going to have a very, VERY hard time in life. While I completely understand wanting to guide your child and helping them through difficult times, fighting their battles for them is something quite different. There will come a time when they will have to rely on the skills they have been taught to fight for the job they want or be cast as the lead or even conduct a job interview on their own. The beauty in teaching them this life skill is that they will learn how to work hard, be their best or even just learn how to move forward when things don't go their way.

From a dance teacher's standpoint, I promise you we are rooting for our students to be the best and "win". The harsh reality is that not everyone can win every time and not everyone should, that's quite frankly not how life works. The earlier in life that we learn how to overcome obstacles, I believe the better off we'll be. The next time your child doesn't get what they want, I encourage you to have THEM communicate with their teacher/ coach/ friend and work out their issue....then let me know how it works out for them :-)

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